I am sat at the computer in my bathrobe, having just come out of the shower in preparation for going out tonight. J has just called up the stairs from the kitchen, “Five minutes, Luce.” (Yes, ‘Luce’. *cringes*). We are alone in the house.
I’m not sure whether I should laugh with the easy sweet familiarity of it all, or run, run for the hills screaming in terror that this is what, like, proper couples do! It’s fine. It’s lovely. It’s working :-)
Laughing is clearly the better option here. Running is pretty nuts if you ask me (but then I may be slightly biased in that regard at the moment). Being really comfortable with someone is just such a great feeling. It’s easy to make it sound dull, but it so never is.
I might well be irrationally terrified, in your place, being me and therefore a bit of a confirmed spinster, but at the same time it just sounds lovely, that feeling of just being comfortable with someone. It’s rare. Enjoy it :) xxx
Oh Jenny, believe me, I am the perpetual singleton, the ‘good friend’, the anything but the focus of someone’s attention like that. So yes, I am enjoying it, and yes it is lovely, but yes, I am pretty scared at the same time because this is the sort of thing that happens to other people, not me!
Personally I am terribly impressed that you – that anyone – can get to this stage! It’s terrifying being the focus of attention like that; it’s terrifying being expected to make plans for some kind of future with any kind of expected continuity – and I’m not talking about what happens when we graduate, but very simply, will I still want this tomorrow, next week? I don’t like to have to think ahead like that even though it’s usually almost certain that I will; actually, the more I write the more I realise I think you hit the nail absolutely on the head with your comment about being hte focus of attention. I’m not used to it! Why do you like me? How?
But I’ve realised that talking about how terrifying the whole thing is is not constructive and I have to learn to see how it doesn’t need to be terrifying, and how it can just be lovely; I have to learn to stop overthinking, take each day as it comes, and ever so accidentally realise one day that I am the one in the bathrobe being given the five minute call as my Someone waits in the kitchen. Someone, of course, now possibly having a name in my case…!
And what’s the objection to ‘Luce’?
xxx
Yay!
‘Luce’ just does make me cringe. It’s not a pretty shortening…! If people really can’t be bothered to pronounce a second syllable I’d much rather it was ‘Lu’, which is what my family and close family friends call me.
Have you told him that? I mean, you’ve been together months now…! It might be weird at this point to do so but also worth it?
And yes, yay! I think. Or rather, definitely yay, until I start thinking too much. Which this time I refuse to do. I’ll keep you posted I’m sure!
xxx
It’s the first time I’ve noticed him calling me it – which I’m sure added to the sudden realisation!